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Wednesday, December 24, 2014



Have a merry Merry Christmas Folks!

this year i'm celebrating Christmas in Singapore, cant experience the coldness.
but i experience the loneliness.
HAHAHA.
now i understand how much it feels to be.
just standing infront of the person you love, yet you dont feel anything in return.

i really trying my best not to be negative liao leh.
but i really dunno what can i do.
i just feel ultimate sian can.
really this year is just the suckiest year.
so sucks that i just want hide under my blanket and sleep my day off.
but too bad, face the reality jasmine~

i dont want to stop working.
i want to keep using my brain so that i wouldnt stop to think negative things.
always putting on a smile for others.
but can anyone put a smile on my face?
i very tired.

on this day, i really tired.
can anyone help me?
pull me out from all negative?
haissssssssssssssssssss~
i only can sigh and sigh.

enough of grumbling.
full stop.

anyway, as i expected.
2 years, i got nothing.
there is nothing for me.
why am i always putting him infront of myself.
i should start to be selfish.

now i understand why sophia sister gave up her relationship for years.
already bought a flat.
lawrence also bought rings for them.
but she choose to let go.
cos the moment when the girl had shut her heart up.
theres nothing more that you can do to win her back.
cos she already died, died in the heart.

getting more sick of my job.
i really wanna get out of the place.
nobody would appreciate what you do.
not even a thank you.
tell me how much more do i need to suffer?
i really just feel super sian.
and the bank just sucks.
please, let me find a better job.
let me learn smth than to be in the stupid bank.



12/24/2014 02:11:00 PM | back to top


Friday, December 19, 2014



two years.
it's been a great two years with b.
we been through loads of shits and of course laughter.
there's more to come i foresee.

alot of things ran through my mind.
this 2 years on this special date.
we went through unlike other couples.
last year we were in different places.
this year in singapore (but he is pretty pack with work)
so there wont be any excitement, surprises like what i expect to think.

in fact he seldom give me surprises.
maybe twice in a year? hahaha.
i should feel good enough because other ppl might not even have one?
well, i like surprises.
usually i will think of all sorts of surprises shits in my mind.
but it never came true. HAHHA like wtf~

now we are working.
we have very different schedule and im slowly getting use to it.
slowly use to NOT having him beside me nagging.
slowly use to NOT having him eating dinner with me.
slowly use to NOT seeing him every single day.
slowly use to be alone.

maybe one day..
i will be all by myself again.
being alone is not that bad afterall right?

trying to put a smile on my face.
apparently, the weather also know how i feel.
whipping away.
lucky it's not bad after all,
after i had my tea party with zoumei.
phewww~



12/19/2014 02:31:00 PM | back to top


Friday, December 05, 2014


the year its coming to an end soon. 2014.
i haven been posting any shit here because this year is a mess to me.

where to start?.. haha.
recently is a down period for me. had to go through multiple shits.
work, relationship, friends, family.
everything just DROP to the lowest point.
i suspect, more to come.

the lowest point in my life this year 2014.
i'm not awaiting for 2015 because i foresee more shit coming.
my dearest grandmother pass away.
my aim to go in ocbc burnt.
my work is now shit.
my relationship is going through high waves.
my friends turning away.

haven i tried my best to control my temper, my attitude.
but seems like nothing change.
everyday trying to SMILE.
but is a sad face that ends my day.
what's wrong?
why like this?

i getting more and more restless each day.
because i dunno how to overcome all this stress.
i stress because i have nobody to turn to.
where's my closest friends?
busy with work, life, relationship and their family.
school comes to the end, my life become so meaningless.

ppl might be laughing at me.
but i really hope to get out of this situation soon.
work -- i want to change
relationship -- i want it to be better
family -- everyone just stay as one 
friends -- stay with me always.

i always felt myself very emotional during the PMS days.
but apparently this days are the more sensitive days,
and those days are the true reflection of yourself.
i look through my past.
i look through now.
nothing i've gain except weight.
hahahaa.

2015, i hope you will be better.
slightly better is good enough for me.
cos i cant take it anymore.


12/05/2014 04:16:00 PM | back to top


Tuesday, December 24, 2013


About 6 months didnt blog again.
well, have went to China, Guangzhou, for exchange since Sept 4.
I am currently blogging in Guangzhou in my lonely apartment.

Today is Christmas Eve.
I have packed my luggage, clear my room and clean the house.
Awaiting for my beloved to be here with me on 27 Dec.
But right at this moment, i felt sudden loneliness.
I dont even dare to go in Facebook because i know only i'm alone.
All by myself.

Lucky there is this someone who still remember im alone.
zoumei, im so thankful that she send me sms asking me whether im alone.
accompany me by chatting for awhile.
that alr touches me deep in my heart.
warms my little heart in this white christmas.

To anyone who still read my blog,
Merry Christmas, you are not alone. :)



12/24/2013 11:52:00 PM | back to top


Tuesday, June 04, 2013


有时候觉得自己很可笑。
爱太多,会累。
不爱,也累。
我该这么做?

很想放下却又舍不得。
矛盾,矛盾。

是我不够好吗?
为什么我总觉得你其实没那么爱我?
我不够努力吗?
为什么我觉得你的心更本不在我这里?

What can I do?
My insecurities. 
Really is it because of money? 
Or maybe the love is not strong anymore. 
Start to learn to be independent but somehow I fail in all times when I'm with him. 

I want to be the strong Jasmine Chew. Can I? 



6/04/2013 04:47:00 PM | back to top


Saturday, May 25, 2013


He is the love of my life.
What else can I ask for?
<3 you b. 


I may not be your perfect lady.
But you are my perfect man.
Let's hold our hand and walk through the rest of our life. 
:)



5/25/2013 01:51:00 AM | back to top


Wednesday, May 22, 2013


I just hate the feeling of being misunderstand. 
Hate to have quarrel! 
Sighh~ 

全都是我的错! :(


5/22/2013 11:57:00 AM | back to top


Saturday, May 04, 2013


Are we looking at the same sky?
I miss you.
Please don't abandon me next time, can?


5/04/2013 09:48:00 PM | back to top


Saturday, April 27, 2013



had a tiff with b.
almost ended of this relationship.
cos i thought we just not suitable.
have been trying my best to please him to make him happy.
that's is smth i had never done before or perhaps not so much for my partner.

because of love, i swallow it down.
keeping my pride off just to salvage this relationship, so does him.
even though we might have a crack in this,
but i certainly hope that it will heal as the time goes by.

i asked him, whether he truly loves me.
i want the answer that is truly from his heart.
he wrote to me :)

all the hatred. all the fear.
just gone within the air.
the initial feeling that i wanna end this relationship, just gone.
all i want was to hug him tightly and really tell him, i love him.

never ever felt love was so strong and now i know.
i know that love can just make a women become stupid.
i understand how it feels to be really deeply in love now.
all this i had never experienced but now i know.

hope things will really get better.
even though i know there's more to come.
and definitely, is my turn to be passive.



4/27/2013 01:12:00 AM | back to top


Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Last day of my year 3 paper!
Well~ isn't it a good time to celebrate?
But seems like I'm going home to celebrate myself.

如果真的在乎,就不会离开。
现在我知道,我对你有多重要。
谢谢你,让我看清楚。
我想通了。 :)


4/23/2013 12:03:00 PM | back to top


About Her



she's: jasmine aka siew ♥
cry on: 02 August 1988
study at:SMU
taking her BISc
working at:JASMINE PTE LTD




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